Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Today was a fun day! I'm out of school for the day since its Election Day. My mom took me, my brother, and my sister to the High Museum of Atlanta. It was really awesome to see everyone's artwork. I enjoyed spending time with my family. Today was a day I can always look back on and remember how much fun we all had together. What an awesome way to spend the day!

Yesterday was my first day at a new job. My first job was at State Farm but I quit because I was unsatisfied with the management. So now I work at Shane's Rib Shack. It's not bad. I actually like it a lot more than I thought I would. I have work again tonight. I am just glad that I have a job so I can save for a car.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

It has been a long time and I feel really bad! I get so busy and things happen which makes me lose my focus. I really want to keep up with this. I feel it can really come in handy. I have an enemy and its this deep dark place, in which I sometimes seem to creep into. I don't like being in that place, and I try to keep myself from going there, but its hard.

A lot has happened since the last time I posted.

Michael, my "amazing boyfriend in who I love so much" broke up with me a few months after my last post. We tried to stay friends, but we brought the worst out in each other. We would stop talking for a while but he would text me every now and then saying he wanted to be "friends with benefits". I'm not sure if I've said this in any of my previous posts, but I lost my virginity to him and he lost his to me. So us breaking up it me hard. But that was about the end of that.

I haven't dated anyone since Michael, but I have "talked" to a few guys.

There's this guy named Dalton who I've had history since Kindergarten. Yes, Kindergarten. He gave me earring that were my birthstone color. Ever since then we've been friends, but when we "dated" in 6th and 7th grade (yes I know that was young!) our friendship is weighted down with the fact that the line between friends and more than friends had been crossed. Every year since 7th grade, we've "talked". During the few weeks that we "talk" we just hang out and act like we're going to get back together. And each time, I fall a little harder for him, and it hurts worse when it all ends. Well we started "talking" again a few weeks ago, and it only lasted about two weeks. But at the end of this time, I found he had an ulterior motive. He just wanted to be "friends with benefits" and lose his virginity. Of course he knew that I wasn't a virgin anymore, so I guess that's why he wanted me to lose his. But I didn't know this until the end when we had sex, and then he just kind of stopped talking to me. No more hanging out, unless it was with our group of friends. I have lost respect for him, cause even though we've had history, we've remained friends. I am really close to his mom and we talk about everything. So she knows the situation and told me not to allow him to pressure me into anything because he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. I love them both, so I want them both to remain in my life, but I am finally done with Dalton.

I just feel used and I am ready to take my sexual integrity back. I don't want a relationship with a guy unless he's willing to wait a long time without having sex. I just don't want anymore heartache. It really hurt. If I could take anyway anything from what has happened in the past, I wouldn't take away what actions I did, because it has taught me a lesson, I would take away the pain. I know the pain is what taught me the lesson, but I wish I could learn the same lesson from a different source. 

I love my life too much to be in the dark place.  

12-12-11 ~ 1-5-12 (Catching Up)

Woah! So a ton has happened in the past three weeks! So first of all, my lap top is broken and won't hold a charge, so I'm dealing with this on my iPhone. Well me and my family took a trip to Kentucky to visit our huge family up there. And we just so happened to be up there for my 16th Birthday. So they threw me a big suprise party. It was awesome! I love having all of us all together. And one of the best presents I got was my grandma, who died a few years ago) 's letterman jacket. So infer to wear it around and it's really speical! So then we have fun on Christmas Eve with the small part of my mom's side of the that lives here in Georgia. And my brother had so much fun getting his presents from Santa! He is just so cute!Bad part of what's been happening is me and my amazing boyfriend Michael have been fighting and arguing lately. But I still love him so very much!And the most recent stuff is that I got my very thin, straight hair permed. It's kinda how I wanted it buy oh well! I also got contacts, cause I'm getting tired if wearing glasses. I've been wearing glasses for like 3 years straight. And now we're back in school, the dragon's firy pit of doom. Yay..So we're pretty much caught up!

12-10-11 & 12-11-11

Well, apparently yesterday's post didn't actually get posted. So! Today's post will be about yesterday and today.

Yesterday: We took my brother Brandon to get his hair cut. We also went to some thrift stores to find a dress for my history project. I have to dress up like and act like Emily Dickinson.  Oh, and try saying Frugal Fabric times fast. I can't even really say it once. I tried and it came out as "frubal fag***" I don't like that word. Another word I can't stand is legit. UGH!

Today: Today was a complete lazy day! Expect for when my dad wanted me to help him organize the garage. But my ears hurt way too much to be out in the cold, so that didn't last long. And then I set up and decorated the Christmas tree all by myself and that was a work out. Ha ha ha... Rum tummy tummy, rum tummy tummy HO HO HO!

<3 <3 <3

12-9-11

Not a whole lot happened today, so I don't have much to talk about. But today was really exciting! My high school's theater preformed a Christmas Carol! They did really great and it was a lot of fun. I ushered the door and got to get in free. :D Today was just overall a good day! Weekend! <3

12-8-11

Pain! Ugh I think I might have ear infections in both ears. It hurts really bad! If you've never had an ear infection, it feels like a sharp object pokeing deep inside your ear and you can't just rub the pain away. And another thing to bring up is how sleepy I've been lately. I sleep a normal amout of hours from about 10-6, and I just feel so sleepy that sometimes I'm fighting to stay awake. Blah blah blah. I have so much on my school plate right now. Mid term, huge group history project, huge theater midterm performance, new information that will be on the midterms, reaching at least a 3.7 gpa and staying there. Woah. I need a little motivation. Next week is going to be insane! Then we're leaving for Kentucky on the 16th and staying until the 20th, which is part of my birthday week. I don't mind going to visit family, but I'm just so discombobulated. Hehe I've always wanted to use that word. Well I guess I'm just lucky to have these oportunities.

12-7-11

The beginning of today was rainy and yucky, but when the sun started setting, it was beautiful outside! Cold, but amazing. The clouds were so pretty. I had art club today, and the art teacher, Mrs. Goodman, said "And to think people say the clouds are white." She is so right about how when we are little we are taught that clouds are white and tree trunks are brown, but in truth they are many colors! The art auction starts tomorrow, and I am super excited how well the pottery sells.

Well today was pretty good! Only nine days until winter break, twelve days until my birthday, and eighteen days until Christmas! Woo! (: